Deep Thoughts

At the beginning of the year I made the goal to write on my blog more often, and although I haven't written as often as I had hoped, I am certainly making an effort. I also made the goal to not just write about big events but write about things that I am thinking about, reminiscing about past feelings/memories, opinions that I have or heck I may just babble on for paragraphs and have no sort of topic (fair warning if this does happen).

I am sitting in the business building on campus waiting for my ASL class that starts in about 30 minutes. I got quite lucky and got a comfy seat with a foot rest, but now its taking all that I have to not doze off. I walk around campus seeing people fully stretched out on couches dead asleep and I don't know how they do it. My first semester at BYU I was able to sleep anywhere, but I think seeing the reaction that others have to sleeping students has stopped my ability to sleep on campus. There of course have been exceptions where I am in the library and there is no way I can focus anymore and have to rest my eyes for "a bit" but end up drooling on my notebook and wake up hoping no one saw. The guy across from me in another leather comfy seat clearly does not have a care in the world. He is sprawled out, headphones in, jacket over his head and shoes off. I applaud you sir. I applaud you. 

I have 15% of battery left on my computer, I knew I should have charged it last night, and still have 30 minutes before my class starts. Lets pray that my computer decides to like me today and lasts 30 minutes. I would just plug it in but there isn't a plug by my comfy seat. I could very well move to the other end of the hall, sit on the floor and plug my computer in, but giving up this seat is not a risk I'm willing to take. Opportunity cost. Yup. And now we are down to 13%. Im also not willing to turn off listening to "The Eagles" in order to save battery life. Listening to 'Desperado' just gets those creative juices flowing!

Now is the time where I feel the need to make a point to this blog post but to be completely honest with you, I have no idea what the point to this is. Its just random nonsense that hopefully you get a kick out of. 

Oh! Point found. (now 11% on computer)

I have applied to be an EFY counselor for the summer, something that I have always wanted to do, but am secretly terrified of. I did the first interview about a month ago which was over the computer with a couple recorded questions and was later invited back for another interview but in person this time. It is tomorrow and I don't think I have ever been so nervous for an interview. I was told to bring my scriptures and that has my crazy imagination running wild. Are they going to test me on my scripture mastery!? Am I going to have to prepare a lesson!? Are they going to quiz me on my doctrinal knowledge!? I really hope it goes well. Getting this summer job would be an amazing blessing. I have decided to not enroll in classes for the summer and therefore would like something that I can do during the summer that I would be able to benefit financially but also spiritually and benefit others as well. I want to try my best to completely step out of my comfort zone and have an effect on these kids just my counselors had on me. I have many fears about the interview but know that what is supposed to happen, will happen. (9% left) 

I was going through my scriptures this morning and found a piece of paper that had "EFY 2010" written on it. This is what was printed on the paper:

I am part of the "Fellowship of the Unashamed."

The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line.

The decision has been made. I am a disciple of

Jesus Christ. I won't look back, let up, slow down,

back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present

makes sense, and my future is secure.

I am finished and done with low living, sight walking,

small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams,

chintzy giving, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position,

promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I now live by

presence, lean by faith, love by patience,

lift by prayer, and labor by power. My pace

is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven, my

road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions few,

my Guide reliable, my mission clear. I cannot be bought,

compromised, deterred, lured away, turned back,

diluted, or delayed.

I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the

presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy,

ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander

in the maze of mediocrity.

I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I must go until

Heaven returns, give until I drop, preach until all know,

and work until He comes. And when He comes to get

His own, He will have no problem recognizing me.

My colors will be clear.

I remember this passage being a large impact on my testimony of Christ, and it still is. I love how straight forward these words are. "I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice or hesitate in the presence of adversity!" It brings tears to my eyes. I gained my testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel at EFY during a missionary activity where we were told to have a "mock missionary discussion." We were told to pick a topic and teach it to another set of kids. My "companion," who was my roommate, and chose I to talk about the First Vision. 

We were given a short time to prepare a lesson and then teach it. We started of course with some background information and then read James 1:5, 

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth no; and it shall be given him." 

Joseph was confused about which church to join and knew that he lacked wisdom so he did exactly what the bible commanded and prayed to Heavenly Father. I began to speak about Joseph Smith and how God the Father and Jesus Christ appeared to him in the Sacred Grove telling him that none of the churches were true.  We read these words:

"It no sooner appeared than I found myself delivered from the enemy which held me bound. When the light rested upon me I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other—This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him!" 

I went along with the lesson and after a couple of minutes I stopped and said, Holy Heck.. I know that is true! And tears came to my eyes. It was at that moment that I knew. That.. 

I am finished and done with low living, sight walking,

small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, 

chintzy giving, and dwarfed goals

I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. 

I cannot explain the feeling that I experienced into words other than, I know that the Holy Ghost was speaking through me during this lesson. This experience at EFY has shaped my testimony tremendously. To repeat again, 

I am a disciple of

Jesus Christ. I won't look back, let up, slow down,

back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present

makes sense, and my future is secure.

I know that this post has some what been all over the place, but I do hope that you gained something from it as I feel I have. Sometimes it is nice to just write. Write your feelings and things just pop up as ya go. To not have structure sometimes is a great thing :) 

Here is a blast from the past of some of my EFY experiences.  don't have a lot of my early year EFY's but just found a couple from the most recent years...

^^ Joe man making an appearance. We both have a major love for BYU. Joe is now on a mission in Lansing Michigan and I sure love reading his emails every week of the progress he is making and how much he is absolutely loving being a missionary. Love ya Joe man!

^^ May or may not have fallen asleep in this class for a couple minutes. Ya don't get much sleep at EFY ha

^^ Not sure what that face was for...

^^ I miss being this tan and holy heck I look young. I believe this was my second to last year. 

^^ RIGHT HAND MAN! Our company name. This was my very last year of EFY. 

I am praying that being an EFY counselor can be something that I can add to my adventure list. 

Bring it on. 

RANDOM SIDE NOTE: I got to about the middle of this post and got down to 4% battery life and had 3 minutes to go up many stairs to my next class but wasn't finished yet, hate it when that happens! I had to give up on the writing for the remainder of my classes but am now peacefully sitting in the institute building feeling very accomplished now that it is done and I don't feel rushed. 

Have a fantastic day ya'll :) 

Cort's Birthday

My good friend Cort had his birthday this past Friday and of course we had to celebrate and have an adventure! The way that we celebrated was for sure not normal ha But for our group, this honestly did not surprise me at all. It was hilarious, entertaining, and just flat out fun. What did we do you may ask? You have got to be dying to know by now.

WE GOT PEDICURES!! YES!! 4 Guys and 3 girls, we all went and got full on pedicures, bright nail polish and all. I think that the pictures will help tell the story better than I can, and thats not just because I've been writing a paper for my ASL class and am tired of writing. Okay maybe a little bit.

^^ Nate got bored waiting for his pedicure and he decided to paint his pinky. Its now Monday and the color is still there. 

^^ Notice the blue pinky

^^ The Birthday Boy! 

^^ BYU Football player getting navy blue and bright yellow on his toes. All of the guys (Cort, Nate, Scott and Garrett) reassured us several times that they are very comfortable with their masculinity and that is why they were so willing to do this. Their other comment was that well, if you're going to get a pedicure, might as well make the best of it and go all out right?! 

I completely agree guys. 

^^ Cort's bright yellow toes. He said he picked that color because it matched his outfit. 

^^ Scotty getting turquoise and pink put on his toes

^^ Oh the lovely crew. Nate is there.. just tucked in the back. Love them so much. 

We then returned to "The Lounge" or "The Den" (Our name for the the guys apartment) for enchiladas, games, and brownies and ice cream. To explain the first video below, we realized that we had no way of lighting the candles and this was Cort's solution, 

**Disclaimer: Don't mind my screaming voice in the background, that is just my way of showing fear about Cort lighting things on fire. No thing or person was harmed in the making of this video. Don't worry Momma. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CORT. WE LOVE YOU!

And just because we received bragging rights, the girls team TOTALLY won in Catch Phrase ;)

Sunday Funday

I just want to acknowledge and remind ya'll that today is an amazing day! I feel "great fantastic never felt better in my life," this was the proper answer to respond with when dear old Dad said, "How are you?" The weather here in P-town has been phenomenal and all I want to do is lay on the grass, eat apples and peanut butter and just look up at the beautiful blue sky. Hey I got an idea, lets all just not go to class and all gather at the park..any takers? ha Maybe I could convince my professors that it is a crime to keep us in classrooms while it is gorgeous outside and they'll have "no choice" but to have instruction outside, or even better.. they'll just let us leave. Wishful thinking. 

My roommate Mckayla gave an amazing lesson in Relief Society that she prepared perfectly, she did awesome and we are all so proud of her. After getting home from church, quickly changing into comfier clothes and satisfying our hunger the roomies and I remember that we have cleaning checks tomorrow and we thought it'd be good to a deep clean of the apartment. As I said before, the weather here is beyond beautiful so we opened the door and windows to enjoy it while we got some tunes going and cleaned our lovely home. Kelly Clarkson, Michael Bublé, Script, you name it we got it! Rebecca and Devan stood in the middle of the kitchen and yelled, "We are going to clean this place until it SHINES LIKE THE TOP OF THE CHRYSLER BUILDING!!" For those of you who know what movie that quote is from, I applaud you, for those of you that don't.. well.. you should probably brush up on your literature. 

While cleaning there were several times where you would hear, "OH! I LOVE THIS SONG!!" and bursts of singing/harmonizing and dancing would happen in the living room. We would dance around for a little bit which included high kicks and quickly grabbing someone else to do one of those fancy dancing dip things. I wish I was quick enough to grab my camera to document the dancing, but I think you can imagine at least a little bit of how it happened.  

During our cleaning party and even after we finished we got to enjoy the lovely "encounters" we would have with our neighbors across the way, Matt, Cody and Chris. Their door was open too while they were cooking delectable things and therefore these events were bound to happen, we love them so much! These encounters included hopping over the railing in between our apartments, belting the song that was on, saying hello with their cute smiles and then quickly hopping back over. Cody did come to our rescue and found the breaker box (I thing thats what its called, if its not.. father I have failed you) and flipped the switch because we blew a fuse and none of our outlets would work. All in all.. we love those human beings.

 ^^ Cute Rebecca and Devan working on the kitchen.  

 ^^ How adorable is this beautiful woman! 

^^ I think my favorite part about this picture is my socks. I think I've talked my roomies ear off about how much I love these socks that I bought yesterday. I mean look at them! Don't you think they're awesome!? I instantly feel cool when I put these on. "You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it." If you know what movie this quote is from and you also knew the other one, then well my friend, you are instantly thee awesomest (is that a word? If not.. oh well, I just made it one) person I have ever met. If you didn't know the other but got this one, I am happy to announce that you have quickly redeemed yourself. If you don't know either, then good gosh you should probably hang out with the McKell family more often. Don't worry, we will help you brush up on your literature. 

^^ The finished product of Apartment 307. I've decided we need a fancy name for our apartment. Any suggestions? 

There is one quote that I want to share with you that I really enjoy written by Jeffrey R Holland.. 

 "However late you think you are, however many chances you think you might have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made or talents you think you don't have, or however far from God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have not traveled beyond divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ's Atonement shines."

I hope that in whatever trial or struggle you are enduring right now that this quote gives you hope, strengthens your faith and helps you to know that Christ has a love for you that is almost indescribable, it is infinite. I hope that you will walk by faith. I hope that you know that Christ gave His life for you. He bore these burdens before we ever did. There is a purpose to everything in this life from the trials we have to the happiness that we feel. I know He loves me and I again hope that you know that too. "Never give up what you want most for what you want today." Life and Love is meant to be an adventure, embrace it. 

The sun is shining, I'm eating carrots, listening to great Sunday music and just finished what I like to call a "Spontaneous blog post," and am feeling so happy as I hope you are! 

Im A Big Kid Now!

Hey I'm a big kid now! I am no longer in my teenage years and holy heck it feels great. All growing up I felt a great deal older than I really was, and I think that is a big reason why I'm so happy to be out of teenage years. Feel like there was this massive wave of intelligence that came over night! ha

My birthday was a very eventful day! Here was my schedule for the day: 

- I slept in and woke up to my friend Kennedy singing songs at the top of her lungs in my room

-  A call from my Momma and Dad where I was asked the same question that I am asked every year, which was, "Well, do you feel any different?!" ha

- Went to Ross with Kennedy, her momma and sister and found some awesome new cleats for our next go at intramural football. Nike cleats, in my size and used to be $100 that Kennedy and I got for $20... AWESOME!

- Probably the most uneventful activity of the day was having a Dentist appointment. I am not the biggest fan of the Dentist, along with many other people. The panoramic X-ray machine wasn't working so I sat in the chair waiting for it to start working again for about 30 minutes, that was fun. The appointment was turned around when the main Dentist walked in to check for cavities and he said, "Well you're good, no cavities! Get out of here and have a great birthday."

- The birthday festivities then began! I made a reservation at Carrabbas for my closest friends and we had a fantastic time. At the end of dinner Cort and Nate had convinced our waiter to sing happy birthday to me. He was convinced and I wasn't exactly sure how to react during the song. We made this awkward eye contact during the song and my face started to get sore from smiling so much. It was great haha

- We finished dinner and moved on back to thee wonderful Woodland Heights where my best friends threw me a birthday party and my roommates made a birthday cake for me :) 

^^ If you can tell, the candles spell out 20 :) I thought that was cool ha

I felt so loved! I was surprised at how many people showed up to wish me Happy Birthday and I am beyond grateful for all of my amazing friends that helped to put on this celebration for me :) 

 I have been 20 for about 6 days now and it has shown to be the best yet! 

Bring on the adventures of my 20s!